Hola.

The worst of the mono symptoms have been gone and now just a few remain.
Very Tired
No energy
Pinchy Spleen

Other than that, we are moving ahead to feeling much better. I have a dr appt tomorrow and prob some blood work to check my levels. My eyes look a bit yellow at times so I will be real happy when that goes away for good! I am sure the people that look at me will be too!

Lucy and I have spent much more time together. I just love that little bug. She makes me laugh- even though she is especially naughty at times. She shakes her head 'no' and waves her finger back and forth like 'no,no,no' and does the deed (whatever it may be) anyways. Dropping food and dumping her water is the current favorite.

We need to take a lot more pics of her soon! We HATE our camera and that is why more than half of our pics turn out awful and blurry. So many cute pics ruined by that camera. Hopefully we can take care of that soon. Lucy changes so much and we need to capture her cuteness.

Off to close my eyes. :)

Chili on the Pot

Life is good.

For some reason....

I am obsessed with the fact that someone cut her hair. It looks shorter in the front to me and it is driving me CRAZY!

Daddy is turning her to a girlie girl-actually she loves it - all of it.

Sweet cheeks.

No complaining here, just stating facts.

So here are some words from a mommy with a broken heart. My little girl loves me , I know, but her interaction with me has been so limited since I have been sick that she no longer seeks me out. If she gets hurt she looks for her nana or daddy instead. If she is frustrated or finds something to show somebody I no longer am the number one in her life. It is sooooooooooooo sad to see how things are changing with us. Once in a while she reaches for me to pick her up and I can not so she then sort of remembers and just kind of grumbles under her breath and walks away.

Since December, I have had not been able to act like a wife or a mom and it has been so hard. I no longer run to the store to pick up groceries, pick out outfits for my Lucy, plan or make dinners, I do not even go out to get the mail because that would involve walking and getting out of bed.

I know that I have made a lot of improvement but I can sense that my spleen is not shrinking anytime soon so that means more of me sleeping, and moving like an 80 yr old for the next 'who knows how long' weeks. I am just sooooooooooooo over it. Ahhh!

We just want to be a family of 3 again. Lucy had a bit of a meltdown tonight when she wanted her nana and she would not go to either of us. To be honest, it freaked me out. She cried for several minutes and her eyes looked so sad like she did not want to be with her mommy and daddy. It was the worst feeling ever. She has been with us such a short time. I worked so hard to be her primary caregiver when we first brought her home and the bonding was a beautiful thing. Now, all our hard work seems to be unraveling and it is so out of my control. Nothing I can do. So I guess we have to wait this out and start all over again.

I hope time passes quickly and I will be able to be the love in her life again. Until then, enjoy all your precious babies, hug them, kiss them and pick them up and swing them around for me. Trust me, it hurts when you can't do that. I am hanging in there- it is just a major bummer and sad too.

getting ready for bed

here are some pics from earlier this evening - she is such a cute kid. seriously, i love this lil girl. i have been spending so much time with her, but i want to spend it with her. she is so cute when it is just the three of us around. she loves to draw tonya and i close in to her, till our faces just about touch together.
so, tonya and lucy were looking at her animal books, and then she was ready for her sleep time. as seen here:

Update on the Update:

Lucy's favorite activity. Sunday's with daddy watching football and eating pizza. Yup, she is saying TOUCHDOWN in the shot.


My blood work came back REALLY good! My numbers were still high but way closer to normal than they have been. My billirubin was almost 6 and is now 1.7. This would explain why I no longer resemble a banana.

My one liver level(alkaline) is still too high but all the other stuff is looking like it is going in the right direction. I definitely feel much better. Thank goodness.

This next phase is involving SLEEPING. I have been sleeping a lot. It seems to be helping me though. My 'inn-erds' are pinchy and full so I have been sensitive to that as well.

Otherwise, I am excited to have it be the weekend because John will be home and we can sort of be a family of 3 again this weekend. (whenever I am awake)

That's it, that is all I have. Lucy is getting bigger right before my eyes. She needs some serious mommy and daddy time and loving.

TMI

Pics of snowman Last week in December!



Ok, hi there. I am alive. This time being sick has been a blurr. I never thought I would have something so serious. Originally, this whole thing was supposed to be a sinus infection, then I got worse and I really thought I had the flu. My fevers were so high and chills, no appetite, headache the whole thing. Until I turned yellow on new years day and went to the ER. So they diagnosed me with mono induced hepatitis. Not like hep a, b or c but hepatitis-meaning inflammation of the liver.
Sent me home and three days later-I was worse-vomited the whole nine yards. Went back to the ER on the recommendation of the doctor. I was severely dehydrated, again and had almost 104 fever(going on like 5 long days of that). So they admitted me and ran all kinds of tests-which i hated every second of. I feel so bad for people that have to have them all the time. They are very brave.

Anyways, this is all boring to you but basically now, at home-my fevers are under control and I am trying hard to be hydrated. My mom drilled in the drinking in my head. She gave me time limits to finish my drinks by. At this point, babying my spleen(left side) because it is swollen and pinchy and blah. I get nauseous if I am upright for too long. And I sleep ALOT! They are checking my liver levels tomorrow. I hope that they are going in the right direction. I think they are. i am ALOT less yellow. at least i think I am. The nurses thought I looked better but still yellow.

So this is what happens when you are an old person that gets mono. The doctors said I should have kissed more boys in school so this would have gotten out of the way with back then. Little did they know I kissed NOBODY in school, so that would have been impossible. :)

My complication now is I tested positive for strep throat. You can not safetly take antibiotics with mono, so we are holding out as long as possible. I also tested positive for what they call the rheumatoid gene, meaning I have inherited the auto immune issues my family has. The doctor thinks that is why mono attacked my liver so quickly and severely the way it did because of this gene. So that is something to look forward too.

I have lost some weight 7-8 lbs, I guess but that is what happens when you do not eat for a week and a half. i do have an appetite now but can not eat a whole lot because my spleen is squishing where my stomach is. My co-worker Jen would be proud of me because I have actually been craving carrots and lettuce- let's just say that is not usual for me. No celery though, Dan.

In this whole mix, the absolute hardest part has been avoiding Lucy. It has been so hard to see sadness and disappointment in her face when she has to leave my room or I can not pick her up or when she pulls on my hand to get up and I can not. She has been acting different and I know this is tough on her. I miss kissing her and playing with her and just being around the house with her. John has been doing a great job with the routines that we can keep with her so that at least that is normal. It has been hard to release complete control of her to other people. Hopefully we it will just be a few more weeks of this and we can get back to 'normal' around here.

Our family has been helping out a great deal with her and my mom and dad have been running me to my appts. That has been a huge stress reliever. They also told me that I will still have my desk back at work, so that is nice to hear too. My sister in CA has sent me something everyday in the mail since i got sick and friends have made some meals and sent cards and emails and even flowers!!! They mean such a great deal to us! Thank you for thinking of us all.

I posted some pics of Lucy's first snowman with her Uncle Bud. Little did I know I was going to be so sick the day after these pics!

I miss everyone!!

Update

First, thank you to everyone for asking and hoping for a speedy recovery for Tonya. Your well wishes do mean a lot to us. The next paragraph gets a little gross, but this is the fastest way to update everyone.
Tonya was admitted to the hospital on Sunday and will be there for another day, maybe two - we are unsure at this moment. We had to go back because we could not control her cough and fever, and her jaundice was making her 'glow'. Once we got to the ER (during the third quarter of the Miami blowout), they took her back and said - 'you're not going anywhere'. Blood tests showed that what was high before was much higher now. Yesterdays CAT scan showed a very large liver (swollen beyond her rib cage), a gallbladder that is compressed, and a spleen like a water balloon. It is these organs that are pushing up against her diaphragm, which is making her short of breath, which is not causing her lungs to expand fully, so fluid is gathering in the bottom (but not pneumonia yet). So, she is a mess right now. She will be out of work for quite a while, and unfortunately has to avoid close facial contact with Lucy for even longer.
I finally came home tonight, (only been here for 2 hours since Sunday) - and seeing Lucy made my week. Her reaction to seeing me is always better than anticipated. Never really thought I would get mushy for a little kiddo, but she kills me. She gives the best, tightest hugs in appreciation - ask anyone who has received one. Jeremy and Tracy, you will get your chance soon, we promise.

Cannot say it enough, thanks for all the nice comments and kind words, I pass these along to Tonya and she really appreciates the concern. We will get her back on track soon.

ton and lucy

for the good news... lucy is still growing and she does everything she can to make us laugh. she is singing a lot and talking to herself more than ever, humming while being pushed thru WalMart. but actual, understandable english words are slow in coming. we had to sort thru her closet and dresser and gather most of her clothes to give away, and bring up most of her 2t clothing from downstairs. i cannot believe all the clothes she has outgrown already. some of it got real short, and some cannot cross around her equator.

for the bad news...ton is sick, real sick. she has mono, like the hardcore version. we did not know what was going on for a week, and the dr. thought it was a sinus infection at first, cause her face swelled up. her fever has been steady, in that she has had one all day, everyday for a wekk now. it was as low as 100, and as high as 103.6 on new years eve. but then on new years she got real yellow, like banana yellow, so we took a short trip to the hospital where her mono was confirmed. an ultrasound showed a swollen spleen, gallbladder and liver. it is the liver that is causing her jaundice. it is quite rare for mono to affect the liver, but if it was to happen to anyone, it would have been either her or myself. the dr's are now keeping an eye on the 'progress' of this, since there is a history of autoimmune diseases in her family. she has a followup on tuesday which will reveal the blood work findings. she will be out of work for a few weeks.

her greatest pain comes from not being able to hold and squeeze lucy. and me too i am sure, but especially lucy. i have been playing the part of mom and dad, and lucy is adjusting to me being around her a lot. i love that little pudge. she is too much, so happy and giggly.