only a plane ride away!!

ME and Uncle John wish we were at the park with you crazy kid!!!

pure joy

Miss Penelope Aloha.

blah blah BLAH

Ibuprofen
Chocolate
Potato Chips
Sleep
Leaving work early after hugging the toilet and pushing a coworker
out of the way to get to it.
This was my Thursday-Don't be jealous.
I think no one can say it better than Paris can. Thanks friend.

If we paint it, she will come!! (Nursery room part 1)

So the sun has shone in our life once again. For no reason other than, today is a better day.

John has been working so hard in her room, and as a perfectionist, it looks great!! He wants it perfect for Lucy. As you can see he has done a great job!! Her room is still a work in progress but so far so good. Our adorable nephew stopped over the other day, saw the Pucca and kissed it! Kid tested and approved already!!

So here we sit two crappy years after being accepted by our agency and almost four crappy years since we dreamed of expanding our family.

It is freezing cold outside, I have gained ten ugly pounds and I am so lonely with out Lucy that I spend money (that we do not have) at the mall and eat sweets for fun. Everyone at work is annoying me, the way some of them breathe, what they eat and hearing about what their childs diaper looked like last night is really lame. I write out each hour on a piece of paper and feel a small sense of relief with every hour I can put an X on so that I can go home and stand in an empty little girls room.

I do not care that people say, it will happen soon, because it won't. It will be worth the wait because- they never had to wait this long!! It does not erase the last few years. All of the tears and money and meaningless daydreams and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. Watching everybody else have momentous life changes. Watching all the kids in our life be born, grow and reach milestones. Knowing that we will miss all the precious months of her life for at least the first year if not more, if we ever get her that is. Knowing that she could be over in China right now without us.

THIS WHOLE THING IS VERY ANNOYING!!!! For all our other adoption friends, I feel your pain today, as you can tell. I am allowed to have a bad day, or two or a hundred just add this one to the list.

one more round, please

i can hardly believe it has been three months since our first round of shots for hepatitis, but this was d-day for our left arms. round two for hep b. tonya twitched and flailed like a fish out of water again, and i seriously did not even feel it. i think the nurse just likes me more. this theory was confirmed when we took our band-aids off a few minutes ago. she had a blood spot, and i had a dot that could have been mistaken for a grain of sand. not to say i am not getting sore - feels like i got a decent punch. next up - june shots. last round.