Lucy has been very challenging for me, so much so I wish I was at work rather than home, like forever. I think it is 'funny' when people ask how my day off was because I am mentally and physically exhausted by nap time and today - NO NAP. I think I only broke down in tears 3 or 4 times today. Is it normal to feel your heartbeat in your fingertips?
Lucy is more than a handful for me. She will not sit and play or sit and watch a movie or let me sit. :( I think I need a full time helper because I literally feel like I am losing myself. I can not remember the last time I actually thought about something for more than 5 minutes.
Tomorrow on my 'day off'. OT Evaluation one hour 11 am- Speech Therapy 45 minutes 2:00- Mind u somehow my house has to be put back together by tonight for the visitors. Oh and our dishwasher is completely and officially dead. I guess I could do as my MIL told me to do' clean all your dishes right after you dirty them'. Now if that was not the cherry on top I don't know what is.
Poor me right? Well, I was just letting everyone know in case I did not awake in the morning due to exhaustion or a stroke of some sort. These would be the reasons. Bad Day.
4 comments:
ah tonya-- i soooo know where you are-and yes- you can feel your pulse in your fingertips!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously-- i know you can't see the end of the dark, very dark tunnel, but there is an end-- have you tried putting lucy in her room, close the door and let her be by herself-- i do that with ben when i've had it- and he doesn't like it, but then he eventually entertains himself- he too won't watch a movie or play by himself (without me forcing him). i also like a nice wine cooler and some chocolate at the end of such a day-- hang in there-- it DOES GET SOOO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry your day was so bad. i have those days where i think, i need to start some kind of bad habit, like drugs or drinking, ha ha ha(just joking peoples)! some days are good and some days are not to be repeated again. give yourself a break and don't feel guilty about it. remember she wont die if you let he cry in her crib or room for a little as long as she isn't hurt. it will get better when she gets a little more self sufficient. here's to better days.
cathy
Major hugs Ton!!! You are just doing what every mom out there does, the best she can! Hopefully a better day is in store soon, and so sorry about your dishwasher!! I know that pain too.... lubya, jug
I'm so very late in catching up and just wanted to say that I'm thinking about you. I have these days too, only with three little ones. Some days I wonder what I'm doing but those days are farther and farther apart and the memories get better. I think having more than one at home does help with the entertaining though. I hope your having an easier time! Hang in there!
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