locks for loot

ok, i know i needed a haircut, i was getting a bit shaggy. my hair was long enough that it began to curl on the ends. a little less than respectable to get by. so yeah, i needed a haircut. the lady that has cut my locks in the past, according to the new receptionist, was no longer working there. so i got a new girl. mandy. well, upon arrival, there was my real hair lady was. oh, oops, the other blonde was the one that left, not this one, the owner. details. so, i sit with mandy, gave her my simple instructions. a touch off the top, shorter on the sides and back. i was getting sick of the mullet that was appearing. as she began to tell me how nice and long her boyfriends hair was, and she knows what to do. apparently, she does not get along with her boyfriend. she started on top. hack. tug, pull, snip snip.
i really didn't notice what she did until i got home and tonya started laughing. somehow, sitting there, i never saw or felt the bowl on top of my head. but, there was the evidence. bangs. high, uneven bangs. she couldn't even get that right, 'that' being a straight line. yeah. i posted here what it must have looked like from the waiting room. thats 'me' on the left. tonya would like me to take a picture of it, like a keepsake or something. maybe i could go back and ask for the tip back.
i have this, at least. my hair grows fast. like one of those dolls that use pump action arms and the play-do comes out the top. so, soon enough i will have my lovely locks back. maybe i will have the opportunity to cut it short and sell it for the less hairy. locks for loot.

Our Dear Friend Clara

I lost a friend today. She told me this summer that she had breast cancer. She lost her battle very quickly. Clara told me a few weeks ago that she would not get a chance to meet Lucy and I just lost it. The tears would not stop falling no matter what I tried to do. Her and her husband, Buddy were married 64 years this past November. They were married on the 7th and our anniversary was on the 8th. We had that in common.

We were instant friends when we met about a year ago and we had a connection rather like a grandmother, granddaughter relationship. She told us she loved us and we certainly grew to love her too.

We often visited them on Saturday mornings and talked about life, the weather and the Bible. We did not share the same religion but despite this our conversations were so upbuilding and encouraging. She appreciated spiritual things. This brings me comfort because I know the truth we shared with her did not fall on deaf ears. It truly touched her, I could see that in her eyes when we were with her.

The eyes reveal so much about a person and sad to say the last few times we saw her I knew that life had left her eyes. I saw that look before on my grandpa and sometimes that image still pops into my head and makes me very sad.

Her funeral is Friday and it will be tough to see Buddy. I hope we can continue to visit with him. I have no idea what to say to him because I cannot imagine what he must feel without her by his side. I look so forward to the day that "death will be no more" and we will only cry tears of joy not sadness. Everyones eyes will be full of life. The image of lifeless eyes will be forgotten.

my current perspective

i watched the documentary 'an inconvenient truth' last night. it got a little political, which i didn't care for, but the basic message was really good and true. it ended with suggestions on how we can reduce or eliminate our carbon footprint individually, much less as big business. good flick for the next time you have an hour to visit a topic you might normally not have thought about. i say this, mind you, knowing full well that when i go out later, i will be driving my 17mpg suv, speeding the whole way. ...but it's so comfy and safe.
i was visiting my favorite NASA site again, which incidentally is the only NASA site i visit, and i saw this picture. this is a composite photo of earth at night from pictures taken from a satellite. kinda made me think of what was being said in the film.
it is an amazing scene, don't you think? it always amazes me to see pictures of this spinning marble we live on. like nothing else out there. if you were to scroll thru the pictures that NASA has posted of all parts of the universe, nothing looks like or can compare to this planet. incredible.
tonya and i were just talking about how we feel about where we stand in time and space. especially in relation to our wait for lucy. i want to start working on what will become her room, but i hate to hang our hopes out there too far. another year till referral. but, we do not want to lose hope altogether. it is just a weird 'place' to be in. those of us in wait understand, and that helps. safety in numbers i guess.
so, without all hope lost, i am still looking to start working on lucy's room. i found this cute 'puca' girl site. it does not translate well, being in japanese and all, but the little puca girls and friends are really cute. seriously, look how cute she is?? now i think i want to incorporate some of that in our theme. maybe it is good that we have this time. i would have painted/repainted her room 4 times now. trying to think of a way to incorporate a bunch of my room ideas into one nice room. but the room would have to be much larger. like... half the house larger so that it wouldn't look like a mess. what are all of you waiting families doing for your little girls room? we should share some ideas. maybe it will bring clarity to my obviously busy brain.

Oh the DRAMA!

Ok last Friday it all began. We knew we were in for a not so great weekend, as we had funerals on Sat AND Sun. Along with all of that, the hiccups began. Friday. It was kind of funny that John had the hiccups. He tried the old water tricks, I kept trying to scare him, nothing worked that great.

Sat came, he got rid of them for a short bit, but ultimately they came back with a vengance. He was now hiccuping three times in a row, it was starting to not be funny. We tried spoonfulls of peanut butter, sugar, lots of water. They would stop and then start again if he spoke or moved.

Sunday came and they were not that bad. UNTIL, we drove to the funeral. He could not sit there sounding like that so he had to stand in the hall. That is when it all went down hill. The triple hiccups turned into 5 hiccups in a row every 5-8 seconds. I timed them like contractions. Desperation set in. He drank lemon juice, vinegar, ice cream WATER WATER WATER. They would go away for 10 minutes. If he moved at all, they were back. He then proceeded to hiccup all night, for hours. His throat was messed up and he was so tired. He actually had to stay home for work because of those stupid things. I called the back doctor and they were sure it was from the 3 day steroid they wanted him to take for his back. Thanks Doc. Not only does his back not feel better he had diaphragm spasms for days. anyways...So far so good. They faded away by Monday night.

Other than that. Bad mood today. A co-worker wanted to inform me that she heard that Chinese adoptions had slowed down a lot. Gee, really?? I wanted to go home. Not the best way to start out the day. stupid head.

I miss my neice Penny and my sister too. I would love a day off to go shopping. Every night I picture myself being on vacation. In a hammock, by the beach, just knowing that I have no responsibilities for 2 weeks. mmmm. I can picture it now. maybe someday again we will be on the beach in Maui. unitl then I work, sit around and eat and wish it was not winter. The sad part is, the weather has been fine. Imagine what a pity party I will have when it is -20 degrees. can't wait.

i've got a fever

the whole thing

4 months down

Well, here we are holding strong at 120 days in. We are confident 2007 will be our year. After all, it is our 10 year anniversary next year and 2008 is just out of the question. No more talk of 2008.

Lucy is our 2007 baby. That's our story and we're sticking to it.

Quote of the day.

If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

phew!!

Well, John definitely has a bulging disc resting on his spinal nerve. The doctor we saw today was kind of a nut but he seems like he has skills so he said no surgery at least for now. He wants to have John take some strong steroids and start some physical therapy. He said the pain could go away in 2 weeks or 8 months. The bulge will usually draw itself back into the spine and hopefully get off that nerve. That was great news for us!! I really think it will get better. I feel bad for the pain he has to deal with now but we are getting good at following doctors directions. In fact, the doctor specifically mentioned "no shoveling ". great. He will really like to follow that one.

My heart will hopefully stop palpitating now. I got a little worked up before the doctor visit. But I ate some almonds and I feel much better. I love almonds so much.

Anyway. That is pretty much it. That was our drama for the day. I am off to eat the pizza my niece and I made last night. I think the germs from her sneezing on it got cooked off. At least I am hoping!

Welcome to the car wash..

I love this mild spell(2 days) We both shined up our cars and it just makes things better to see the sun shine!! I even had the energy the clean the house up all nice. I am sure it will all be in vain once my 3 year old neice Mia comes over tonight. We will be sure to have fun but that usually involves making a mess at the same time. She is a cutiepie maniac!! Just preparation for Lucy, right??
Johns parents just got in town back from Myrtle Beach. They were there for 2 months or so. They are on the phone with him freaking out about the disc problem in his back. We go to the doctors tomorrow. Hopefully the doctor will break the issue down in English and we can know what we are dealing with. surgery? physical therapy? amputation?? (jk)

Anyways, off to finish laundry and such. It must be nice to have a wife.

is that a light down there???

just when we decide to try to forget about this huge part of our life, so that the wait does not eat us up; just as we started to think about the other vacations we want to take because we thought we would never actually get lucy.... we get this email:

To: Johnmark & Tonya

Hi Johnmark & Tonya!

This message is to notify you that it is time to download Travel Packet I. We are asking that you watch for the packet to be available after 6pm Mountain Time today and download it from your Parent Access Network Record at your earliest convenience.

THATS RIGHT. our travel packet. it may be early, but we are rethinking our whole 'try to forget about the adoption for now' theory. its back to front and center. we hope the other members of lucky eights got theirs as well.


p.s. are you liking spiderman to the left?? that was our dance.

ZZZZZZZZZZZz

Why do we live near the canadian border again? I am so sleepy and lazy and want it to be warm and sunny. I am almost too tired to type. We really need to get back to the gym. Our membership expires in a few weeks and I am ashamed to say that we have not gotten our money's worth.

I really do not have much else to say..had a company dinner tonight. I work with a great bunch, and my boss spoils us ROTTEN! Had a guy yell at me on the phone today, I think I turned him around but I was super annoyed. A co worker was super cranky and it was hard not be rude back but I just smiled and got over it like always. I am not sure where that patience comes from. John has a bad back now and may need surgery on a bad disc that is pinching a nerve. Yes, jay my eye started twitching as soon as he told me that. My theroy is that he just wants to get out of shoveling this winter. errr! I made my dad a casserole to pick up tomorrow, He has a bad day at the doctors so i figure I would spoil him a bit.It is supposed to snow tomorrow. wish it was friday. as you can see this rambling proves nothing is new. to spare everyone the boring details I will say ok good night. zzzzzzzzzzz

it just seems like

we are totally not complaining, or trying to be downers. we know that we are going to be getting our girl in 10-14 months. it just seems like each time we hope the referrals will cover a month, and speed this wait time up, only a week gets done. for those families, this has been a long time coming. congratulations. we saw your referrals and the little girls are beautiful. our number is coming up soon. Lucky Eights are coming up!