locks for loot

ok, i know i needed a haircut, i was getting a bit shaggy. my hair was long enough that it began to curl on the ends. a little less than respectable to get by. so yeah, i needed a haircut. the lady that has cut my locks in the past, according to the new receptionist, was no longer working there. so i got a new girl. mandy. well, upon arrival, there was my real hair lady was. oh, oops, the other blonde was the one that left, not this one, the owner. details. so, i sit with mandy, gave her my simple instructions. a touch off the top, shorter on the sides and back. i was getting sick of the mullet that was appearing. as she began to tell me how nice and long her boyfriends hair was, and she knows what to do. apparently, she does not get along with her boyfriend. she started on top. hack. tug, pull, snip snip.
i really didn't notice what she did until i got home and tonya started laughing. somehow, sitting there, i never saw or felt the bowl on top of my head. but, there was the evidence. bangs. high, uneven bangs. she couldn't even get that right, 'that' being a straight line. yeah. i posted here what it must have looked like from the waiting room. thats 'me' on the left. tonya would like me to take a picture of it, like a keepsake or something. maybe i could go back and ask for the tip back.
i have this, at least. my hair grows fast. like one of those dolls that use pump action arms and the play-do comes out the top. so, soon enough i will have my lovely locks back. maybe i will have the opportunity to cut it short and sell it for the less hairy. locks for loot.

Our Dear Friend Clara

I lost a friend today. She told me this summer that she had breast cancer. She lost her battle very quickly. Clara told me a few weeks ago that she would not get a chance to meet Lucy and I just lost it. The tears would not stop falling no matter what I tried to do. Her and her husband, Buddy were married 64 years this past November. They were married on the 7th and our anniversary was on the 8th. We had that in common.

We were instant friends when we met about a year ago and we had a connection rather like a grandmother, granddaughter relationship. She told us she loved us and we certainly grew to love her too.

We often visited them on Saturday mornings and talked about life, the weather and the Bible. We did not share the same religion but despite this our conversations were so upbuilding and encouraging. She appreciated spiritual things. This brings me comfort because I know the truth we shared with her did not fall on deaf ears. It truly touched her, I could see that in her eyes when we were with her.

The eyes reveal so much about a person and sad to say the last few times we saw her I knew that life had left her eyes. I saw that look before on my grandpa and sometimes that image still pops into my head and makes me very sad.

Her funeral is Friday and it will be tough to see Buddy. I hope we can continue to visit with him. I have no idea what to say to him because I cannot imagine what he must feel without her by his side. I look so forward to the day that "death will be no more" and we will only cry tears of joy not sadness. Everyones eyes will be full of life. The image of lifeless eyes will be forgotten.

my current perspective

i watched the documentary 'an inconvenient truth' last night. it got a little political, which i didn't care for, but the basic message was really good and true. it ended with suggestions on how we can reduce or eliminate our carbon footprint individually, much less as big business. good flick for the next time you have an hour to visit a topic you might normally not have thought about. i say this, mind you, knowing full well that when i go out later, i will be driving my 17mpg suv, speeding the whole way. ...but it's so comfy and safe.
i was visiting my favorite NASA site again, which incidentally is the only NASA site i visit, and i saw this picture. this is a composite photo of earth at night from pictures taken from a satellite. kinda made me think of what was being said in the film.
it is an amazing scene, don't you think? it always amazes me to see pictures of this spinning marble we live on. like nothing else out there. if you were to scroll thru the pictures that NASA has posted of all parts of the universe, nothing looks like or can compare to this planet. incredible.
tonya and i were just talking about how we feel about where we stand in time and space. especially in relation to our wait for lucy. i want to start working on what will become her room, but i hate to hang our hopes out there too far. another year till referral. but, we do not want to lose hope altogether. it is just a weird 'place' to be in. those of us in wait understand, and that helps. safety in numbers i guess.
so, without all hope lost, i am still looking to start working on lucy's room. i found this cute 'puca' girl site. it does not translate well, being in japanese and all, but the little puca girls and friends are really cute. seriously, look how cute she is?? now i think i want to incorporate some of that in our theme. maybe it is good that we have this time. i would have painted/repainted her room 4 times now. trying to think of a way to incorporate a bunch of my room ideas into one nice room. but the room would have to be much larger. like... half the house larger so that it wouldn't look like a mess. what are all of you waiting families doing for your little girls room? we should share some ideas. maybe it will bring clarity to my obviously busy brain.

Oh the DRAMA!

Ok last Friday it all began. We knew we were in for a not so great weekend, as we had funerals on Sat AND Sun. Along with all of that, the hiccups began. Friday. It was kind of funny that John had the hiccups. He tried the old water tricks, I kept trying to scare him, nothing worked that great.

Sat came, he got rid of them for a short bit, but ultimately they came back with a vengance. He was now hiccuping three times in a row, it was starting to not be funny. We tried spoonfulls of peanut butter, sugar, lots of water. They would stop and then start again if he spoke or moved.

Sunday came and they were not that bad. UNTIL, we drove to the funeral. He could not sit there sounding like that so he had to stand in the hall. That is when it all went down hill. The triple hiccups turned into 5 hiccups in a row every 5-8 seconds. I timed them like contractions. Desperation set in. He drank lemon juice, vinegar, ice cream WATER WATER WATER. They would go away for 10 minutes. If he moved at all, they were back. He then proceeded to hiccup all night, for hours. His throat was messed up and he was so tired. He actually had to stay home for work because of those stupid things. I called the back doctor and they were sure it was from the 3 day steroid they wanted him to take for his back. Thanks Doc. Not only does his back not feel better he had diaphragm spasms for days. anyways...So far so good. They faded away by Monday night.

Other than that. Bad mood today. A co-worker wanted to inform me that she heard that Chinese adoptions had slowed down a lot. Gee, really?? I wanted to go home. Not the best way to start out the day. stupid head.

I miss my neice Penny and my sister too. I would love a day off to go shopping. Every night I picture myself being on vacation. In a hammock, by the beach, just knowing that I have no responsibilities for 2 weeks. mmmm. I can picture it now. maybe someday again we will be on the beach in Maui. unitl then I work, sit around and eat and wish it was not winter. The sad part is, the weather has been fine. Imagine what a pity party I will have when it is -20 degrees. can't wait.

i've got a fever

the whole thing

4 months down

Well, here we are holding strong at 120 days in. We are confident 2007 will be our year. After all, it is our 10 year anniversary next year and 2008 is just out of the question. No more talk of 2008.

Lucy is our 2007 baby. That's our story and we're sticking to it.

Quote of the day.

If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

phew!!

Well, John definitely has a bulging disc resting on his spinal nerve. The doctor we saw today was kind of a nut but he seems like he has skills so he said no surgery at least for now. He wants to have John take some strong steroids and start some physical therapy. He said the pain could go away in 2 weeks or 8 months. The bulge will usually draw itself back into the spine and hopefully get off that nerve. That was great news for us!! I really think it will get better. I feel bad for the pain he has to deal with now but we are getting good at following doctors directions. In fact, the doctor specifically mentioned "no shoveling ". great. He will really like to follow that one.

My heart will hopefully stop palpitating now. I got a little worked up before the doctor visit. But I ate some almonds and I feel much better. I love almonds so much.

Anyway. That is pretty much it. That was our drama for the day. I am off to eat the pizza my niece and I made last night. I think the germs from her sneezing on it got cooked off. At least I am hoping!

Welcome to the car wash..

I love this mild spell(2 days) We both shined up our cars and it just makes things better to see the sun shine!! I even had the energy the clean the house up all nice. I am sure it will all be in vain once my 3 year old neice Mia comes over tonight. We will be sure to have fun but that usually involves making a mess at the same time. She is a cutiepie maniac!! Just preparation for Lucy, right??
Johns parents just got in town back from Myrtle Beach. They were there for 2 months or so. They are on the phone with him freaking out about the disc problem in his back. We go to the doctors tomorrow. Hopefully the doctor will break the issue down in English and we can know what we are dealing with. surgery? physical therapy? amputation?? (jk)

Anyways, off to finish laundry and such. It must be nice to have a wife.

is that a light down there???

just when we decide to try to forget about this huge part of our life, so that the wait does not eat us up; just as we started to think about the other vacations we want to take because we thought we would never actually get lucy.... we get this email:

To: Johnmark & Tonya

Hi Johnmark & Tonya!

This message is to notify you that it is time to download Travel Packet I. We are asking that you watch for the packet to be available after 6pm Mountain Time today and download it from your Parent Access Network Record at your earliest convenience.

THATS RIGHT. our travel packet. it may be early, but we are rethinking our whole 'try to forget about the adoption for now' theory. its back to front and center. we hope the other members of lucky eights got theirs as well.


p.s. are you liking spiderman to the left?? that was our dance.

ZZZZZZZZZZZz

Why do we live near the canadian border again? I am so sleepy and lazy and want it to be warm and sunny. I am almost too tired to type. We really need to get back to the gym. Our membership expires in a few weeks and I am ashamed to say that we have not gotten our money's worth.

I really do not have much else to say..had a company dinner tonight. I work with a great bunch, and my boss spoils us ROTTEN! Had a guy yell at me on the phone today, I think I turned him around but I was super annoyed. A co worker was super cranky and it was hard not be rude back but I just smiled and got over it like always. I am not sure where that patience comes from. John has a bad back now and may need surgery on a bad disc that is pinching a nerve. Yes, jay my eye started twitching as soon as he told me that. My theroy is that he just wants to get out of shoveling this winter. errr! I made my dad a casserole to pick up tomorrow, He has a bad day at the doctors so i figure I would spoil him a bit.It is supposed to snow tomorrow. wish it was friday. as you can see this rambling proves nothing is new. to spare everyone the boring details I will say ok good night. zzzzzzzzzzz

it just seems like

we are totally not complaining, or trying to be downers. we know that we are going to be getting our girl in 10-14 months. it just seems like each time we hope the referrals will cover a month, and speed this wait time up, only a week gets done. for those families, this has been a long time coming. congratulations. we saw your referrals and the little girls are beautiful. our number is coming up soon. Lucky Eights are coming up!

Whatever...

Well, I told myself reading the rumor queen would only be trouble. It has made me so grouchy!!! I am determined not to look at that site for a couple of more months.

I am happy for the families that got their referrals! I hope they all have safe trips and look forward to reading their entries about their trips.!!!!

We have decided, at least right now..to not be obsessed with this. As far as putting things on hold waiting for the day we get our baby girl. It will be hard but it is harder to think that getting her is right around the corner when it is not really even close. It really isn't.

So maybe we can go on a trip or something fun like that. I will just keep working the most that I can, trying to save NOT SPEND! The big thing that makes this hard is that the weather is getting really bad starting tomorrow. Somehow if the sun was shining and the air was warm I think it would be easier to pass the time. So when we get through this long cold winter I will consider this a BIG accomplishment. Hopefully I do not gain two hundred pounds because munching on candy is my new favorite past time.

WHATEVER!!!!! Keep plugging away right? I am so glad that my dad is doing good after a long operation yesterday, so I should be busy spoiling him over the next few weeks. He wrote all of us kids(4 of us) cards in case he did not make it. yes jay your card is in the mail!! Let's just say his card made me cry. and he did mention how much he loved Lucy. sniff sniff

We really do have great parents, I cannot wait to watch them love on Lucy, that will be a great day for me.

Thought for the day:

I cannot believe Tori Spelling is having a child before me.

In fact she may just have two before we do.
:(

DAY OFF!

Well we managed to do quite a bit on our day off together today. We started to clean out our spare bedroom which is gradually being called " LUCY'S " room. That was kinda exciting. We were able to get all of Lucy's clothes and other things we have begun to accumulate for her all in a big tub. We wish the stores were open today because we are anxious to get paint swatches and put some sort of theme together. We are thinking light green, possibly elephants and flowers. But that can change a million times before we officially decide. (it already has)

It will be fun to begin that. We more than likely will really begin in January. We think that will be a good starting time and in the thick of winter there will not be much else to do anyways but an indoor project. To be continued....

John is happy since Miami won today. He goes between joy and nauseaus- ness as he overdosed on his version of eggplant parmesean. gross

I am off to make spaghetti and meat sauce, my favorite! yum.

I created a Slide Show! Check it out!

letting go is hard to do

Well, time flies when you are having fun. One week goes by in a snap. Jackie, Doug and our Penelope left today. :( We had such a great time. Penny made such big strides this week. She will be just like her mommy was when she was little. She had cereal for the first time, she loved to eat. She started kicking, her eyes got big and it was too cute to see her little tongue lapping up any cereal that she could get. She was not above sucking the rest off of her bib either.

She rolled over like a pro. She discovered her tasty little toes. Her hair grew too! Right in front of our eyes. She is going to be a little blondie. Her head was so fuzzy and soft and she smelled so good. Her cousin Mia loved to rub her head. I think all the rubbing stimulated her hair follicles. It was so sad to see them leave us. I will miss them so much. It was fun to go shopping with my sister, we laugh a lot. We found good deals too, that is always fun. Among other things, we found some cute shirts for Lucy and Penny. One had cute pink flying pigs on it. John and I always said we would be able to have a family "when pigs fly". I had to get that shirt. It is perfect.

My mom and I may plan I quick girls weekend this winter to see them again in California. I think we will need to in order to not suffer too much withdrawal. I hope it works out. We shall see.

It will be so fun to have all of our families together and have the kids play with one another, and have grandma and grandpa babysit while we SHOP! Looking forward to those days.
Until then, back to work for everyone tomorrow. boo hoo. I was happy to have the time off. It was totally worth it. Miss you Jay!

lucky penny

well, it goes without say that we are loving our time with lil penny. although they arrived on tuesday, it was today that we got to spend some serious time together. after starting off with breakfast at hicks and mccarthy in pittsford, we headed out to the outlets. this little giggler did not fuss a bit. this is the type of little girl i could handle. she recently found her tongue, so tonya and her mom joined in the fun. she was all smiley too if i got to be chauffeured around. she is way too cute when she smiles. fuzzy head. enjoy some of our pictures...

at the outlets with tonya and doug in the background trying not to eat her up right here
reading to the niece's

Around the World in 80 days

Well, it has been 8o days since our LID. Wish that we had been around the world and back. Positive note: The time will give us time to SAVE SAVE SAVE for the trip. We still have to get her room done, even agree on color scheme and all of that. We have to brush up on how in the world to take care of a baby; re learn the Chinese language that we started a couple of years ago. So much to do.

The weather is changing and we actually saw snow. Since we started, we successfully made it past spring and summer. We have gone through two full seasons already waiting for our Lucy. Just a few more to go right?

John's sister,Cathy, had her baby shower yesterday. It was nice to see friends (all 60 of them) and all the generous gifts they got her. I brought my camera but was to lazy to take pictures. I was also busy writing down who gave them what gift. Everyone kept saying my baby shower was next. I will believe it when I see it!

Looking forward to my little sisters visit this week from California. I get to see my baby niece for the first time! I hope to shop and relax, possibly sleeping in a few days while I am at it. I do feel bad for leaving everyone at work when it is so busy. I have not had a full week off all year so I guess it is time for it. John has some days off too so it will be fun I hope.

We also have our nine year anniversary this week on the 8th! Yes, we are old and married. It seems hard to believe that we actually ended up married. Whoever thinks they will really marry their best friend. I am so happy he kissed me July 29th, 1994. That was a good day! Next year Lucy will be our 10 year anniversary present. No flowers, no dinners, just LUCY! but I still expect a card. hint hint

That is about it! We are getting ready for a busy week. Hope to pass along some pictures for everyone to enjoy!

nacho night

doritos, fritos, santitos... and nacho. libre, that is. i was giddy at the release of nacho libre on dvd. had to throw a party. a naachooooooooo party. have you seen it? have you!? wait till late, find your funniest friends and put it on. crazy. we had said friends over. we even had our own chancho. did i mention that i got the mask with the purchase of my dvd? oh yeah.

gifts and more gifts

This is my sister n law, Cathy - she is getting soo big! Her little boy is moving around all of the time. It is so strange to see her pregnant. Just cause. You have to know her. She looks cute though. Due in December, we are all excited. So her and her husband Richie had their anniversary on the 23rd and they got US an anniversary present. They ALWAYS do that. They beat us to the punch, our anniversary is not until Nov 8th!! They ended up suprising us with this cute pink pack n play and a gift certificate to Baby's R us. So generous. We have yet to get them anything...

Yes, it is a bit early for such a gift. But you know I kinda like having it in the house. I can completely see a little black haired sweetie pie playing in it. We will also have it now for when my sister visits in exactly 11 DAYS!!!! from California with Penny and her husband. To see this little cutie -see the pumpkin below.

We also got the book, I love you like Crazy Cakes, from our fellow waiting family friends Jeremy and Tracy. It was so thoughtful of them and the note from Tracy is something I will keep in Lucy's book for sure -THANK YOU!

We are getting spoiled with all of these treats for Lucy. I would like to think that next year by this time we will be packing to go get her. I am sticking to that.

So John is making me go to the gym. It has been a while so I better go. We need to build up our endurance to walk up the Great Wall, right?

p.s. endless shrimp is a really bad idea

i mean really, who needs an endless amount of shrimp? okay, i thought i did. red lobster... darn you! how long will this decision haunt me? never again. thanks jeremy.

case of the mondays

yeah, today was tough. not really sure why, but i could have been anywhere but at work today. i broke out laughing thinking about any clip from office space. the kind of laugh where you turn off the phone and crack yourself up. tired, deliriously tired laughing. ahhh... too much.

fall into NY weekends

there are a few things that i love about this part of NY. we have all 4 seasons, sometimes they seem to last a bit longer than we would like, but nonetheless, each one is amazing. in this area, we have a lot of parks that are a real short distance from our home... tinker park, mendon ponds, 'canalside', and a little distance away is letchworth state park. this time is the best time to visit. colors and cool breezes, still waters and leaf piles.
we spent some time at mendon ponds this past weekend. it has been a few weeks since we have even seen each other, so the sunny weekend was what the dr ordered. so, we went for both days. there is this gorge-ish area called devil's bathtub. the pond down there is always still, and reflections are amazing. they need more benches down there, because once you reach the water, there are 10 other couples sitting in amazement. we walked along the pond till it got a little 'horror movie'-ish. they may have shot swamp thing down there. tonya freaked at the first snake she saw.
day two we brought our niece. ball of energy. i was tired by the time we got there. she is so outgoing, she makes a friend with her opening words. she found little kids whom she immediately warmed up to, and fortunately someone brought a puppy. i say that since they chased each other for 20 minutes and wore each other out.

on a less cheery note, i lost my grandpa this weekend. he passed away on sunday night. he was not sick, he was not slowing down. he was a full 96 years old. he was living with my parent for the past 2 years, just to have someone look over him. one of his sons, who gave part of his eulogy, was there with him at the time. he stated that grandpa passed just like he would have liked. he had just finished a big pasta meal, drank his last glass of wine, and that was it. he passed right there at the table, physically satisfied and satisfied with days. we buried him this afternoon, right next to his wife, who passed 2 years ago. i look forward to getting to see and know him better in the future, when i see him in perfect health, and we speak the same language. i will miss that guy.

alright, according to tonya, i am writing a short story. thats her hint that it is time to go to bed.

Penny the Pumpkin

Penny! SHE IS SO SWEET! She is comin' to visit from Cali in a month. We can't wait! We can't wait to see her parents too :)

Neil Diamond Day... and other mindless ramble

ALRIGHT, i am just going to say it. i like neil diamond. i do. there it is. i was laying there last night, and he came on the airwaves. thats when it hit me. so, i would like to proclaim that this friday is NEIL DIAMOND DAY. i would like to think that there is support for this out there. stop denying your feelings. you like him too. so, in honor of 'the man', we have to each sing a song of his on friday, no matter where we are at 11am. wherever in the world you are, in whatever time zone. 11am in your location.

i saw this picture and thought of you, kevin and tonya. i am not sure how close to tempe you are, but if you are anywhere near it, it would be cool if you could go to this exact same spot sometime. it was shot along the east-west oriented western canal. the details are here. think about it.

lately, we have been having really great sunsets and sunrises. this morning, it was gorgeous. sun shining through some dark clouds, beams shooting out. great stuff. love the clouds. i want to have the time to lay down outside and see some patterns. i want to be able to do that with lucy. i spy. tonya and i decided that we are going to be very outdoors-ie parents. not that we will roll in mud or anything, but lay in the lawn, throw leaves around and watch the night sky. did i just get sappy? hmm. i found some great shots of crazy cloud patterns. check them out.

ever get that feeling that it is about time for some time off? you know, when everything gets to you? yeah, got that.

tonya has been working like crazy. she is putting me to shame with the number of hours she is working day after day. she worked thru the weekend as well. feel like i should do something for her. buy her something. not sure what though. see, here is my predicament. our anniversary is in a couple of weeks, and i have to buy something for her, which i love to do. but, since she is our banker as well, there is no way to hide a purchase from her. she sees every dollar that goes out. i told her not to pay attention to the finances for a bit, but she will. it is our 9th anniversary. what does tradition say it should be? aluminum? can't remember. i am a very lucky man on many levels, but in this regard, she is not a materialistic girl. jewels do not do it for her. she likes practical stuff. and cards. loves cards. ask her about the year i forgot a card. 7 years ago. she will tell you in detail. what did you girls out there get for your anniversary? i am not so haughty as to ignore a suggestion here and there.

does everyone tear apart their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches before biting into it? is that a rule?

i probably should do some work while i sit here.. at work.